Disbelief...

This is the best word I can use to describe the past two days as a Mother.

Friday evening Bob alerted me to an email that he received from one of the soccer mom's on Cade's team about his behavior. As he continued to tell me the story, I had a full range of emotion running through my veins -

guilt - What am I doing wrong, where have I failed that I can not keep my child's behavior in check?

anger - how dare she send a message like this via email and proceed to copy 3 other mothers on the team.

sadness - were any of the children terrorized or upset because of Cade's behavior?

disbelief - 'includes all the above emotions in one'

The allegations were that Cade was bullying the other boys by calling them names and this transferred to the field by causing the other boys to have agressive behavior against each other.

Bob and I are not the type of parents that live under an 'illusion' that our Cade is a perfect little boy. We know his issues and we manage them daily. I do not doubt the allegations, but I do question the singular source. With influences coming from daycare & public school, Cade is constantly learning new 'words' and 'behaviors' that make us wince. We immediately step in with Cade to address them though. Do other mother's not deal with these same issues too?

I did speak to this mother personally at the game and got a better understanding of the situation. And ALAS, it was not just Cade's behavior but the other boys as well. This doesn't make it right, but it does help Bob and I influence Cade to make good choice in what he does and says. In this situation - Cade is an outsider as he does not go to the same school as all the other boys on the team so he just wants to please and to fit in, not injure...

Lesson that every one should follow, no matter what the situation:
Never send an email to someone about personal issues. ALWAYS treat it as it should be, both private and personal. Be strong and direct, always do it in person.

Love to you all...
Cassandra